Jokes by the Illuminati

Raping the Lottery Jackpot: Sexual crimes pay! We are not going any further,,,

2008-06-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

Rigged state lotteries alone prove that the illuminati TOTALLY control government, "opposition" and media in the US and EU.

The benefit of being able to chose the "winner" each time is that, like for any character in a cast: the personality of the "winner" can be designed at will.

Matt Marriott first exposed the trick used by the illuminati in 2004, the day after the Illuminati released the "78 cents" joke about the "winner" Juan Rodriguez, a joke that as far as the "miracle" of "hope", alias "Yes, we can!", is impossible to beat. (1)

Now the illuminati set another milestone for jokes of type "about the winner" (2), not only by the "prize" but also by daring to repeat the 2007 joke (3). A joke ("Sexual crimes pay!") more directly related to real messages of illuminati agendas. (4)

Simultaneously the illuminati get closer to the ultimate border, telling openly to the human cattle: "We are Raping the Lottery Jackpot! Sexual crimes pay!" But for the moment they are "are not going any further" ... (5)

Notes

(1) http://lottery-for-dummies.blogspot.com/2004/12/government-jackpot-lottery-fraud.html

(2) Types of Illuminati jokes about the Lottery, with examples: Illuminati *** MEGA *** jokes playing the lottery - warning this is NOT a joke
http://lottery-for-dummies.blogspot.com/2007/03/illuminati-mega-jokes-playing-lottery.html

(3) Feb. 1, 2007, first release of "We are Raping the Lottery Jackpot! Sexual crimes pay!" type of jokes: " Sex offender wins $14 million Florida Lotto jackpot" ... "FDLE records show winner Cowal is has a record of arrests for alleged offenses ranging from ... lewd and lascivious or indecent assault upon a child, trespass, aggravated assault, driving under the influence, probation violation and high-speed fleeing from law enforcement. He was sentenced to 23 months in prison between 1993 and 2000."

(4) Promoting any kind of sexual crimes. Start point for the uktimate sexual crime, pedophilia:
http://pedophilia-agenda.blogspot.com/

(5) How the Illuminati media packaged the "news under the: Headine "Sex offender wins $57 million lottery jackpot"

Fred Topous Jr., 45, the winner of last week's $57 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot, according to the Corrections Department's offender profile, pleaded guilty to assault with intent to commit sexual penetration in 1999 and pleaded guilty to breaking and entering charges in 1984 and 1988....
All three offenses occurred in Grand Traverse County. Prosecutor Alan Schneider said Wednesday that he wasn't familiar with the cases.

"I want to enjoy a little bit of life," Topous told state lottery officials. "We're plain folks. We've struggled all our lives."
The Michigan Lottery told Grand Rapids television station WOOD that anyone can play the lottery except those under 18 and those who work for the agency.
"He's had some tough breaks," friend and co-worker Jan Westcott told The Grand Rapids Press. "I know some of his secrets, and he knows some of mine. I'm not going any further."

Fiat Money: UBS Swiss Bank as messenger for grounding time

2007-12-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

Paper Money: UBS Swiss Bank as messenger for grounding time

the "tabloid" version

Collapse of Major Banks and "swiss" UBS as milestone in shock and awe
I explained worldwide first and as usually also as only one so far, how the Illuminati are using the "shock and awe" mind control technique and the "swiss" bank UBS as milestone to enter the phase of the collapse of major banks. The explanation included the Swissair grounding, as a milestone in the usage of "shock and awe".(1)

Illuminat jokes for December 10, 2007
For any illuminati expert on illuminati timing, it was clear what would the headlines be, immediately after the TV premiere of "Grounding", Sunday evening December 9.
10 hours later, early enough for the first radio headlines of the week but too late for the print media, another 10 billion "shock".
And again for any illuminati expert on illuminati jokes, it would be clear that these news would be packaged by "Blick", the illuminati outlet playing the "tabloid" role, with the exact same words as in the case of the Swissair, e.g. "X sits on his saddle as solidly as before" (2).
The major illuminati outlet playing the "serious" role, NZZ, prefers to include other type of jokes in the headlines. "Ospel stays" is enough about Marcel Ospel, UBS chairman, the same actor who played one of the major roles in the end of the Swissair script, which he called a "machine of money destruction". But don't worry, this time the Singapore terminators will stop the machine.(3)

Notes

the "serious" version

(1) http://illuminati-overtime.blogspot.com/2007/11/collapse-of-major-banks-illuminati-to.html
(2) "X sitzt aber nach wie vor fest im Sattel". In 2001 the illuminati actor playing the X role was Mario Corti, now it is Marcel Ospel.
Notice again how "Shock and Awe" requires some previously usage of the "Acceptance Level Increase" technique (4). The title is designed to make it obvious: "red, redder" ("Rot, Röter").
http://www.blick.ch/news/wirtschaft/...s-zahlen-78206
(3) The joke completed with: "the largest swiss bank fears red numbers for 2007" ("Die grösste Schweizer Bank befürchtet rote Zahlen für das ganze Jahr") with headlines "UBS yet deeper in credit crisis turmoil" ("UBS noch tiefer im Strudel der Kreditkrise - Ospel bleibt").
http://www.nzz.ch/nachrichten/wirtsc..._1.596962.html
(4) Don't forget: if something, say "Acceptance Level Increase", is not clear just google it in quotes together with "MattMarriott". (5)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...C+MATTMARRIOTT
(5) To start with, do you know the basics, e.g. illuminati jokes, illuminati media, etc? I'm afraid that if you don't, it's already too late to learn it. BTW, that is the case of about everyone in Illuminatiland. And that is the reason why the illuminati were able to add extra episodes like "Collapse of Major Banks" before terminating their "End Times" production.

Added Oct 24, 2008: almost one year later, "Cash Run begins in ... Swiss Banks" finally officially reported in illuminati media. Again packaged as a joke related to the Swissair grounding:
The Great Take-off Begun" (short after Begin of End Time Billions Bailouts, as predicted by End Times Prophet)
http://end-times-data.blogspot.com/2008/10/cash-run-begins-in-swiss-banks-short.html

n Forums: goldismoney.info

http://www.goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=210224

Horrible yet simple "missing UK girl Maddie McCann" script: non-stop satanic jokes

2007-09-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

The horrible yet simple illuminati script "Maddie McCann, Missing UK girl kidnapped in Portugal" was explained June 2007 or one month after it was launched. Transcription (1):

“

"Missing UK girl kidnapped in Portugal" and "Police Smash Global Pedophile Ring" - the HORRIBLE TRUTH
Act 1: kidnapped Madeleine McCann missing.
Package: Illuminati (police, icons, media) do protect children.
Contents: agenda "Destruction of protection of children".
To parents: you can do whatever you want with your children, no reason to be afraid to be punished.

”

How Act 1 was continued over the last three months, until being now completed:
- the n-th detail was "revealed" (systematically in the form of illuminati jokes) (1) to let even the last idiot have no doubts about the script "the parents did it";
- both parents been named as suspects of child-murder;
- after which they go to England to resume the "Help parents find Maddie" script.

Notes - some of the latest illuminati satanic jokes
Resume "Help parents find Maddie" script.
- Missing girl's parents say hunt must go on - September 15 -The newspaper, television and billboard campaign will be focused on Spain, Portugal and other parts of Europe and will be paid for using donations from a $2 million fund set up to help find Madeleine McCann, her uncle, John McCann, said in a statement.
"I hope that the general public will continue to support us in this. It is so important that we remember _ 'Don't you forget about me,' our lovely wee Madeleine," he said, speaking as the fund's administrator.

Script Jokes
- Affleck to axe movie over Madeleine case - September 11 - Ben Affleck's new movie Gone Baby Gone may be pulled from British screens following the case of missing British tot Madeleine McCann.
Affleck admits the film bears striking similarities to the case and is preparing to take the appropriate steps to prevent the film being show to U.K. audiences.
He says, "We are acutely aware of the situation. We have a greater concern for that than the release of our film, which is just a commercial matter, whereas this is a matter of life or death.
"I'm not up to date on the details and it is not something that has taken off in the United States like it has in the U.K. It is only when someone said there was this case that was very similar to my film we looked it up."

Shocking Breaking News in Illuminatiland:
- Breaking News on Fox News: Both Parents of Missing British Girl Named Suspects" - In a shocking twist,... September 07, 2007

"Package vs. Contents"
- "Over 55 British LE, including detectives, forensic specialists, scientists and officers in their home town are working on the case"

Even the last idiot should have no doubts...
- "the father has now admitted to injecting his three kids with sedatives to help them sleep" (so the couple could go out for tapas with their friends).

... and It's official: parents who kill their children do NOT go to jail
- In an interview with a British newspaper last week, Kate McCann said Portuguese police had pressed her to confess that she had killed Madeleine accidentally, then hid her body and pretended that the girl had been abducted in a massive cover-up.
"They are basically saying, 'If you confess Madeleine had an accident, and that I panicked and hid the body in a bag for a month then got rid of it in a hire car, I'd get two or three years' suspended sentence,"' she was quoted as telling the Sunday Mirror on Friday after her first police interrogation.

The toys joke....
- August 8 - portuguese police: "Specks of her blood on wall suggest she died in apartment", i.e. over 3 months this was overseen, but then a sniffer dog was able to tell if she was dead or alive when she was carried from the room.
“In the most recent interrogation, Port. police told Mrs. McCann that they had found the “corpse scent” on the cuddle cat. She responded that she often takes the cuddle cat (her daughter’s favorite toy) to the hospital where she works, and it sometimes comes into contact with cadavers."

... and the footnote appended to these "news"
"The McCanns have toured Europe with photos of Madeleine and the child's stuffed animals and clothing, even meeting with Pope Benedict XVI at the Vatican. Celebrities including children's author J.K. Rowling and soccer star David Beckham made public appeals that helped the family raise more than $2 million."

Notes:
(1) June 2007: Missing UK girl kidnapped in Portugal and Police Smash Global Pedophile Ring - HORRIBLE TRUTH: part of same script
http://pedophilia-agenda.blogspot.com/2007/06/missing-uk-girl-kidnapped-in-portugal.html

July 17 - J.K.Rowling & Harry Potter and the Illuminati Brainwash Children Agenda with photo - Satanic Jokes: J.K.Rowling helps in hunt for missing UK girl Madeleine
http://www.goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=156537

In Forums

http://christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=6105774

Roswell UFO crash & alien autopsy: 60 years celebrated with Illuminati joke at Fox News Channel

2007-07-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Why do the illuminati try so hard to convince children and naive about UFOs & ETs? (1)

Nothing illustrates this as well as the Roswell record, which the illuminati media has now played for... sixty years, using the suggestion mind control technique.
60 years later, FOX celebrates the Roswell "crash" and alien, as Illuminati Joke. As propagated by the "Lunatic Fringe" sites set up by the CIA:
David Sereda will be on Fox News Channel, the Fox and Friends News show tomorrow at 9:00am EST revealing Major Roswell Disclosure information. (2)

Previous link illustrates reactions of the typical idiot (or a CIA psy-op playing that role) after the show (3):
I was flipping through the channels this morning and caught the tail end of an interview with David Sereda who was touting his latest documentary "From Here To Andromeda".
I must admit that he came off quite credible and sincere. I also found it interesting that the FOX commentators did not treat him like a "tin-foiled-hat-wearing" nut job. He purports to have some credible information in the new documentary from Boyd Bushman directly related to the Roswell incident.
Bottom line, as stated by numerous prior threads, there does seem to be more and more stories about UFO's and such.

60 years later, Roswell celebrated as Illuminati Joke (4), in this case as parody of their satanic ritual murder of JFK (5), with "another" deathbed confession.
"Military official admits on his deathbed that spaceship was real"
David Sereda disclosed major Roswell information, both the death bed confession of Walter Haut and his Legal Affidavit that was recently revealed.
And he also revealed the Testimony of Boyd Bushman from Lockheed Martin (Senior Scientist) Boyd states that we actually shot down the craft in Roswell, that we had a black ops plane plane with Tesla technology beam weapon that was used.

Notes

(1) http://illuminati-media.blogspot.com/2007/07/ufos-ets-why-do-illuminati-try-so-hard.html
(2) http://www.godlikeproductions.com/bbs/message.php?messageid=407516
(3) Fox at brainwash July 4th - David Sereda interview
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB8T94nCYY4
(4) Compare this Roswell joke for the lunatic fringe with Illuminati Jokes for the general audience: SKYLAB and ISS International Space Station.
http://illuminati-jokes.blogspot.com/2007/06/skylab-space-station-crash-1979.html

(5) CIA releases video detailing 99 pct about the murder of JFK (April 2005)
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/bbs/message.php?messageid=102218

In Forums
http://forums.armageddononline.org/roswell-ufo-crash-t11026.html?p=159294

SKYLAB Space Station Crash 1979 - Illuminati Jokes for dummies

2007-06-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

Skylab orbiting Earth" Hoax, kept alive 1973 to 1979, is exposed the same way as 28 years later the ISS Hoax (1).
Now, for the complete picture, the "Skylab crashing into Earth" Hoax, something that now is about to become Breaking illuminati news: does the debris from the plane crash at the Pentagon ring a bell?
Right, Skylab debris in remote Western Australia 1979 = "plane" debris at the Pentagon on 11 September 2001. (2)

So relax, folks, the chances you will get hit by some of those 200 ISS tons really is the same as the odds of winning the Mega Millions Jackpot. (3)
And that is not one of their many Space Station jokes, like the Skylab jokes from 1979. In fact It is not a joke at all.

SKYLAB Space Station Crash 1979 - Illuminati Jokes for dummies

While staging their hoaxes the illuminati include jokes (1a). This is a way to prove their point, i.e. their sheep = human cattle.
Some of the jokes included in the script of "Skylab's Fiery Fall" hoax, used to terminate the Skylab Hoax, July 1979, exposed worldwide first June 2007.

1. The Lottery - at that time not a Joke

In 1979 the Lottery Jackpot was not yet hoaxed (3). So inverting reality was not yet the sense of having their media tell you this:

"the probability of any specific person being struck is 1 in 600 billion—far less than the chance of being hit by a bolt of lightning or winning a lottery." (4)

2. The "Impact" Location Joke

The location chosen :“Balladonia is the safest place in the world, in the most remote place, in the most remote continent”. (5)

For the CIA & NASA operatives, the most important task in the "Fiery Fall" mission was to plant the debris and above all make sure there was no danger of a large number of witnesses testifying later they had seen nothing:

“Back in 1979, the Americans wanted to bring their satellite Skylab back to earth and they believe it would crash-land it into the Southern Ocean. We had NASA people roaming the outback for weeks ahead of it coming down and it probably presented Balladonia with its greatest historical event ever. There were more aircraft movements on the day than I believe Perth airport,” Chairperson of the Eyre Highway operator’s association Bob Bongiorno said.(5)

Meanwhile these were the jokes in the illuminati media (4):

Despite all their wondrous tracking stations, bristling with huge radar antennas and feeding the most advanced electronic computers, America's top military and civilian space scientists could not predict even roughly where Skylab would fall. Until the final hours, they could narrow the area of eventual impact only to a vast global band between 50° north latitude and 50° south latitude—a sweep of about 109 million sq. mi., or nearly 56% of the earth's area. Conceded Hal Sierra, one of the technicians monitoring Skylab's death throes from the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center near Houston: "We're balancing on a knife edge—but we're not sure where the knife is."

Officials of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, which conceived and launched Skylab six years ago, took comfort in the mathematics of probabilities. Some 500 fragments of the huge space workshop will be dispersed over an area 4,000 miles long and 100 miles wide, a scattering that the scientists call, with anthropomorphic archness, Skylab's "footprint." Moreover, on each of Skylab's 90-minute orbits of the earth, nearly 67 minutes, or 75%, is spent over water. What all that means, contend NASA'S statisticians, is that the chance of any remnant striking a human being is only 1 in 152;

3. The "Debris" Jokes

This was the best chapter. Much richer in details as the 9/11 debris (2).
The only photo in location with a piece of "debris" suggests it is a toilet (a) [footnote appended 2009]. Almost as funny as the piece reserved to be displayed at the local museum...

These were some of jokes in the illuminati media before the "impact":
One of the heaviest pieces of Skylab, a two-ton lead-lined vault used for film storage, is capable of digging a hole 5 ft. wide and 100 ft. deep. And within the band of Skylab's orbital paths lie some of the world's most populous areas, including all of the U.S., much of Europe, India and China. Indeed, the chance of debris falling in some city of at least 100,000 inhabitants is a sobering 1 in 7. Only 10% of the earth's inhabitants can be considered totally free of any risk from Skylab's metallic fallout. (4)

Where there is a fine, there must be debris...
An Australian municipality, the Shire of Esperance, fined the United States $400 for littering. [1] In 2004, the History Channel documentary "History Rocks" stated, in an episode covering major events of 1979, that this fine has never been paid. (6)

... and that debris is actually the best it could happen to Australia:
"Meanwhile, Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser wrote a letter to US president Jimmy Carter, praising the scientific research Skylab had done during its active lifespan. Even so, he said, he would have preferred Skylab hadn't fallen on his country.
He then suggested tongue-in-cheek a trade be made of Skylab wreckage in return for higher Australian beef export quotas to the US market." (7)

4. The Prize Joke

From Wikipedia (6), which is totally controlled by censors in the Illuminati payroll:
The San Francisco Examiner offered a $10,000 prize for the first piece of Skylab to be delivered to their offices. 17-year-old Stan Thornton scooped a few pieces of Skylab off the roof of his home in Esperance, Western Australia and caught the first flight to San Francisco, where he collected his prize.

30 years later, dramatic can be added at will to this act. Compare to take 1 of the same act: "One lad from Esperance found one of the first pieces and was flown to America as a guest of NASA,” Bob said. (5)

5. The Beauty of America in the Universe Joke: Miss Universe and Miss America

The location for the Miss Universe contest 1979, was a consequence of the script for the "crash". Wikipedia about this "coincidence":
In a coincidence for the organizers, the annual Miss Universe pageant was scheduled to be held a few days later, on 20 July 1979 in nearby Perth, Western Australia. A large piece of Skylab debris was displayed on the stage.

So why wonder that the two most prominent visitors to Balladonia were "Jimmy" Carter and ... Miss America (5)?

Notes
(1) ATTENTION: NASA is putting an End to the BIG HOAX ISS Shit-tle, aka Space Shuttle
http://nasa-hoaxes.blogspot.com/2007/06/attention-nasa-is-putting-end-to-big.html
a) Search for "baby" in link above, for one of the illuminati jokes included in the final chapter of the "Space" Station fable, ongoing.

(2) Shanksville, Pentagon and the 9/11 "passengers"
http://911-for-dummies.blogspot.com/2006/05/shanksville-pentagon-and-911_01.html

(3) Lottery for Dummies - Probability is not 1 in 176 millions. It is in fact 0.
http://lottery-for-dummies.blogspot.com/

(4) "Skylab's Fiery Fall" - TIME Magazine, July 1979
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,920502,00.html

(5) A hole in one for balladonia - ABC Australia, 22 December 2006 - 28 years later, the illuminati no more need to check previously if the story is fit to print...
http://www.abc.net.au/goldfields/stories/s1812423.htm

(6) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skylab

(7) When Space Stations Fall...
http://www.space.com/news/spacestation/skylab_mir_826.html

(a) Note added April 2009: Skylab v ISS: 30 years later, Russia, not NASA, writes the toilet jokes
http://jokes-by-russia.blogspot.com/2009/04/skylab-v-iss-toilet-jokes-russia-not.html

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Illuminati jokes about The Pentagon, American Airlines Flight 77 and Terror Agenda

2006-05-18T02:46:00.000-07:00

Illuminati Jokes from May 2006

Why did the perps, 5 years later, "release" a Pentagon video, which shows no plane, as proof that there was a plane? (1)

Answer:

- 1. Refreshing memories about who did 9/11, i.e. the "terrorize the sheep" agenda. As explained long ago, "The illuminati expected you to believe that there had been three flights and the Pentagon "crash" was staged to terrorize whoever started asking questions about 9/11, by letting them understand that it was an inside operation, as even the last idiot could see no plane at all." (2)

- 2. Diverting from the fact that one day after 9/11 they were already "releasing" the hoaxed videos with frontal crashes of the WTC planes;

- Mockery of the "human cattle", aka Illuminati jokes.

The mockery

How was this "release" packaged as mockery of the sheep? It was announced by CNN quoting Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton, May 16, 2006."Finally, we hope that this video will put to rest the conspiracy theories involving American Airlines Flight 77". (1)

Joke #1 - the "I don't get it why they don't get it" type of jokes, i.e. repeating a previously released video and packaging it as new. This to have the "human cattle" react with : "The video doesn't show anything new. I don't get why they couldn't release this sooner, considering it looks almost exactly the same as the last video." (3)

Joke #2 - the "emperor's new clothes" type of jokes, i.e. despite inserting no plane in the video, releasing it as proof of a plane. This to have the "human cattle" react with : "I still don't see anything in the video, if this was trying to dispel conspiracy theories, it won't do anything to stop them." (4) Stating this implies that if the video released by the illuminati had a plane that would be proof that there was indeed one...

Joke #3 - the "honest illuminati" type of jokes, i.e. despite the fact that adding a plane to the video would be a five minutes job, they did not do it. What better proof they don't play foul?

Notes
(1) http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/05/16/pentagon.video/index.html

(2) message #2, from MattMarriott, May 17, 2006, in "New 9/11 Pentagon Video Released" http://christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=2999835
Full story: Shanksville, Pentagon and the 9/11 "passengers": http://911-for-dummies.blogspot.com/2006/05/shanksville-pentagon-and-911_01.html

(3) message #1, from poster DhaliClone, May 17, 2006, id
(4) message #4, from poster SummerMadness, May 18, 2006, id

In Forums: http://christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=2999835